Old Curmudgeony Neighbor Doesn’t Like Anyone, Gives Them All “Awards”

by Andrew Dalton on January 5, 2010

Here at Aggressive Panhandler, we occasionally have opinions about the issues around us. Which we were told in high school was a good thing, but really opinions are like farts: they all stink except yours (unless you’re in the shower, in which case – gross).

I’ve mentioned our neighbor Rob Anderson before because he was getting pretty loose with the pours of haterade when he heard the news about the Divisadero improvements, but as curmudgeons are wont to do he didn’t stop there. Of course he’s been quietly blogging along over at the District 5 Diary (DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM) all year and like every good blogger (except me, I guess) he decided to do a year-end wrap up. But unlike every other person on the internet his 2009 Year-End Awards are all really mean!*

He lays out twenty-three (23!) categories, none of which speak very highly of their recipients. The Personal Reinvention of the Year Award, for example, went to former SF Bicycle Coalition executive director Dave Snyder because he was recently “anointed as a ‘transportation expert’ by city progressives.” This would seem like a nice gesture if Anderson didn’t end it with “even though he’s just a bike guy.” OK, Rob, you’re right we should leave all the urban planning to people who think bikes are for children because they know what’s best for everyone, even though they’re just car guys.

Anyhow, including Snyder’s award, 11 of the 23 mention the SF Bicycle Coalition or bikes and cyclists in general as ruining our city, so I wasn’t going to get too beat up about some old guy who’s happy to scoot about in his car. (Because as long as he’s in his car there’s no chance I’ll accidentally make him break his hip if he passes me on the sidewalk.) But he had to throw in a particularly infuriating last word by naming Patricia Decker and Steve Jones, two people who I’m almost positive he has never met, as “Bike Fetishists of the Year” because Decker (who you may recognize from her SF Panorama byline) decided to name her bike Mireille, and Jones put some Burning Man-style shit on his frame and handlebars. Seriously? I guess this means Rob has never hung so much as an air freshener from his rear-view mirror (because his farts smell so good).

*this may or may not be true, I’m not really sure if there’s a way to “search” the internet to find out what people write about. Maybe they should make a card catalog or something.


19 Responses to “Old Curmudgeony Neighbor Doesn’t Like Anyone, Gives Them All “Awards””

  1. SFCitizen says:

    Crazy Rob Anderson doesn’t have a rear-view mirror to hang things on as he no longer owns a vehicle.

  2. That’s right, I do recall reading that in one of his ramblings.

    Either way, I was pretty proud I could come full-circle with the fart joke, so I’m leaving it.
    Do we suspect he has a rascal scooter? If so, would it be wrong to venture a guess as to whether or not it sports any bumper stickers?

  3. SFCitizen says:

    He looked as vital as Ross Mirkarimi when they debated the issues in the most recent race for D5 supe, for what that’s worth.

    He’s able to shop for his mom at the Fulton Street Lucky, anyway.

    Call him crazy a few times and you’ll make his list next year I’m sure.

  4. So we’re talking about a Just for Men Touch-of-Gray level of vitality, then?

    He doesn’t carry a cane does he? I ask because I’d rather not have one of those shoved in my bicycle spokes. Year end lists, I can deal with.

  5. SFCitizen says:

    No cane but he did do a stretch in the Federal pen back in the 1970s, owing to him being a draft dodger. I’m sure he could take you down if he wanted to.

  6. Rob Anderson says:

    To Citizen’s Jim Herd: at least Dalton put his name on his post. Still wondering why you don’t put your name at the top of your blog, especially when you insult someone, though I may be the only one you insult. So now you insult me anonymously in a comment on someone else’s blog? Pretty lame. Typically, you get my jail time wrong: I was in Lompoc in 1965 and 1966 for refusing to report for the draft. If I was a “draft dodger,” I would have gone to Canada or used some other tactic to avoid serving. I thought—and still think—the US attack on and invasion of Vietnam was stupid and immoral.

    Dalton puts “ruining” in quotes, but I’ve never written or said that, though the SFBC and many cyclists seem determined to make our traffic a lot worse than it has to be.

    Why is Dalton “infuriated” by the bike fetish award? Both Jones and Decker surely earned it. Maybe he’ll take this opportunity to share his bike’s name with us.

    I write critically of the great, planet-saving bike movement because no one else is doing it and it needs to be done, not because they or their transportation “mode” are particularly interesting.

  7. Rob Anderson says:

    Why would you post Mirkarimi’s campaign website as if it held any ongoing interest? As I pointed out on my blog last year, the most interesting thing about the site that he doesn’t mention his endorsement of Critical Mass or the Bicycle Plan fiasco. He doesn’t have the courage to defend his anti-car, pro-bike convictions. Nor does he mention Rincon Hill, the Market/Octavia Plan, or the shameful surrender to UC on the extension property, even though he’s been point man for both the M/O Plan and the UC rollover.

  8. To your first point, you’re correct! “Dalton” got “overzealous” with the “quotes” so they have been “removed.”

    To your second point, what is infuriating about the bike fetish award is the way in which you highlighted someone’s choice to give a pet name to their bicycle or decorate it however garishly as a means to discredit their opinion. This seems awfully childish for someone attempting to be so critical about the bike movement, and ends up discrediting your own, more well-formed arguments. But then, I just make a bunch of fart jokes, so what do I know?

    Finally, I hate to disappoint, but my current bicycle lacks a name. Feel free to send suggestions.

  9. jim_rock says:

    Blog comments are NOT for civilized discourse.

  10. SFCitizen says:

    Cheerfully withdrawn – 1960’s not 1970’s, resister, not dodger.

    Not everyone wants to be as famous as you, Crazy Rob, so they might not behave as you do….

  11. Rob Anderson says:

    “He’s able to shop for his mom at the Fulton Street Lucky, anyway.”

    I’ve never met Herd, so his lame, gutless attacks on me are a bit of a mystery. I assumed at first that he was just another bike nut, but I’ve been informed that that’s not true. I of course do shop for my mom and myself at Lucky’s. So what? My mother is 94-years-old and can’t do a lot of things for herself. Is there supposed to be something amusing about that? Who’s going to take care of Herd’s parents when they get too old to care for themselves?
    http://district5diary.blogspot.com/2009/03/whats-jim-herd-afraid-of.html

    “To your second point, what is infuriating about the bike fetish award is the way in which you highlighted someone’s choice to give a pet name to their bicycle or decorate it however garishly as a means to discredit their opinion.”

    Look, both of these people published this information themselves—Jones in the high-circulation Bay Guardian and Decker in her own blog. They don’t seem particularly shy about sharing this information with us, so what’s the problem?

  12. You’re certainly allowed to laugh at the Bike Nuts. I ride my bike regularly and there are plenty of other cyclists that piss me off, but you missed my point that being so dismissive of them discredits your actual argument. (Such as Decker pointing out how expensive the new Bay Bridge span is, but she seemingly has no problem with the additional expense of the bike lane.)

    Anyhow, this has been a fun exercise (like riding a bike can be!), but I’d rather get back to fart jokes. Thanks for playing, everybody!

  13. SFCitizen says:

    See, Rob, the fact that you’re shopping at the Lucky shows that you’re not relying on a cane or a Rascal to get a around. That’s the context. That’s not an attack on you.

    Pointing out that some people in town and on your blog call you “Crazy Rob” wasn’t an attack on you. Actually, it’s like calling Red Auerbach “Red Auerbach” (even though that’s not his real name).

    I have four bikes in my shotgun hallway and I’m on the new one everyday. Does that make me a bike nut? Doesn’t really matter, does it?

    (My new bike’s name is “Bonanza”)

    Seems as if having Transformers battling it out on the Earth that is Andrew’s blog is bumming him out so I guess that’ll be it for now.

  14. Rob Anderson says:

    “See, Rob, the fact that you’re shopping at the Lucky shows that you’re not relying on a cane or a Rascal to get a around. That’s the context. That’s not an attack on you.”

    In a typical bit of dishonesty, you left out the reference to my mother, which suggested that there’s something risible in my being her caretaker.

    “Pointing out that some people in town and on your blog call you ‘Crazy Rob’ wasn’t an attack on you. Actually, it’s like calling Red Auerbach “Red Auerbach” (even though that’s not his real name).”

    Yes, quoting someone who, like you, is anonymous and calling me “crazy Rob” is an attack on me. “Red” is obviously Auerbach’s nickname, probably because he had red hair in his youth. That’s nowhere near the same thing as calling someone “crazy.” Hard to believe that you’re so dishonest and dumb that you can’t see that, but that may be the case.

    “I have four bikes in my shotgun hallway and I’m on the new one everyday. Does that make me a bike nut? Doesn’t really matter, does it?”

    Yes, owning four bikes qualifies you as a bike nut. Doesn’t matter to me, though it does put your personal attacks in context, doesn’t it? Still like to know why you don’t just put your name on your blog or on these comments. What are you afraid of?

  15. SFCitizen says:

    Nobody insulted you for shopping for your mom. Nobody thinks there’s anything wrong with your shopping for your mom.

    People called Gambino crime family member Joey Gallo “Crazy Joe.” They still do. He didn’t take it as an insult and nobody thought he was crazy for real.

    Sorry bug the operators of this site…

  16. Rob Anderson says:

    So why mention where or why I shop at all? And you still haven’t told us why you don’t put your name on either your blog or on these comments. You are anonymous and you quote another anonymous source to call me “crazy.” What’s wrong with that picture?

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